Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Shadow Narrative

This week we have been writing a story about a shadow I wanted too write a narritive and here it is. Our Walt was to write a narrative.
The Bunny Ears Trouble
Hey! As someone else shouted out as my shadow quickly dashed back to me. I told my shadow multiple times to play something different but he kept on doing bunny ears on the passengers. I know that it is pretty annoying sitting on the train with nothing to play with but he just kept on playing. Now I had tried everything I could think of like counting to ten and convincing him to play something else but at last I had enough and after my cheeky shadow came back I shouted at him at the top of my lungs. He did say sorry but after that the train came to a stop and the door opened. My shadow saw his chance and as fast as a cheetah catching its prey he dashed out of the door in the blink of an eye. I tried to grab him but humans can’t touch shadows so he escaped!

At the stop that I had to come off I met a friend that I hadn’t seen for a long time. He was wearing black all over and looked like a detective. While we were happily chattering like two old ladies at a tea party he suddenly noticed that my shadow was gone! After a while I explained everything to him he took off his jacket and whispered to me” I am in a team called TSB (The Shadow Busters) and I know where all the shadows go when they abandon their owners.” Then he dragged me into a dark alley where he stepped onto a certain rock and it transported us to his office. Inside, all around us were maps of islands that were long forgotten by humans. He explained that those were the islands that used to belong to us but shadows took over it and built their civilization there. He handed me a map and a small device that can find out where my shadow went and pushed me down a tube that led me out. I fell down the tube like a ten tonne elephant that fell down the hill.

I followed my device and followed my shadow day and night. Of course, my shadow didn’t want me to find it so he set lots of traps to slow me down. I’m a human so I can’t see his traps so I got caught in loads and loads of traps. What surprised me was that my shadow rented a boat and went further and further into the sea. I too rented a boat and started to catch up. Now because I am very close to the island so on the sides of the my boat there were more and more shops that were opened by shadows on rafts rather than humans. After the next trap that clamped onto my boat I stopped at a shop where they sold trap detectors so I brought one. Now every time my shadow setted a trap my trap detector beeped. Then just when I could see my shadow every now and then he stopped his boat and started to run up a hill towards a old castle where lightning struck every tower on the castle. In my mind I was scared to go on but when I thought of my shadow I kept on going.

I thought nothing could be done but then I thought of I clever plan. Just when he was about to enter the door I started whistling his favourite tune and he started coming back. All the way to the human world I whistle the tune and he followed me. Than I went to a shop and brought a lot of super glue and glued him on me so he can’t run away.

From that day on he never ran away and after he promised not to be naughty again I trusted him to be free once more. Now he still hasn’t ran away.

WALT: Write a narrative

  • An interesting title
  • A hook sentence which captures the audience
  • An opening paragraph to introduce characters and story setting
  • Organise the story into paragraphs - Build up, problem, solution, ending
  • Language features
   * Verbs and adverbs
   * Descriptive language - Adjectives, similes, metaphors, personification
   * Time connectives - eventually, finally, after that, suddenly, meanwhile, then,

  • Interesting dialogue which adds to the story  

1 comment:

  1. Next time when you finnish try and reread a bit better